She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
