Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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