is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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