i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
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