I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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