Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
