That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
