Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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