HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
