I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
