return my video game
im six kinds of drunk right now
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
