somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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