Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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