Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
