I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
