I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
My vagina is very pro this idea
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
