Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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