She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
What a dumb baby whore.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
