3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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