I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Randomize
