apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
