Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
