What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
