Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
