TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
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He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
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He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
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