he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
