you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
