How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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