So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
