dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
