I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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