babies were throwing up all over the place
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
