Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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