So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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