so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
now i know why i became what i already was.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
