Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
we have pet lesbian snakes
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
