I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
