so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i think my mom watched the whole time
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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