I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize