New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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