Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
