There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
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you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
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For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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