Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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