It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
