How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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