We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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