how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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