accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
