This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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