Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
