It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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