on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
