it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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