She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
worst night to have a conscience
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Randomize
