She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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