how can u be prego again
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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