My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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