I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
God, I missed his penis.
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