I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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